Thursday, January 7, 2010

Conversation with God 天何言哉?

Meat-eater : Hey God, What's the beef ?

God : ????

Meat-eater : Are you a vegetarian ? or a vegan, maybe ?

God : ....

Meat-eater : Hey Dude, what's the noodle ?

God : ....

Meat-eater: Oh, you don't eat up HERE, do you ? I see.. you're a Breatharian !!

God : ....

Meat-eater : First week of 2010 man, why the freaking weather ?
USA and China, floods, snow, hailstorms, airport closures ?
2 quakes at Solomon Islands, one at Philippines,... don't ya have a
better New Year gift for us than this ?

God : ....

Meat-eater : Why 'unstoppable' swine flu ? Why are you raining diseases down
on Earth that are incurable ?

God : ....

Meat-eater : What ya thinking man ?? What ya thinking ?? BTW, how do i address you,
your holiness ??

God : Sonny, look at the plate on your table !

Meat-eater : The stuff that i eat every day ? Why ? Meat of course !!

God : .....

Meat-eater : You mean it's got something to do with the stuff i eat every day ??

God : Yup !!

Meat-eater : But it's been done centuries ago !! It's a tradition here on Earth !! It's what we call culture !!
Are you too HIGH up there your holiness ??

God : That's the reason why you are down THERE, and I am up HERE ;-)

Meat-eater : You mean all this global warming and climate change stuff has got something to do with what I eat ??

God : Yup !!

Meat-eater : But it is CO2, man, CO2 is the main ghg heating up the planet, is it NOT your holiness ?

God : It's Methane... NOT CO2 !!

Meat-eater : Methane ? Why nobody told me about this ! And where does the methane comes from ?? ...

God : And NO2 too !! They came from livestock breeding and massive large scaled industrialized killing machines down THERE.

Meat-eater : So eating meat, and killing another being is wrong ?? Why didn't you taught us that in the Bible ?

God : It's there in the First...

Meat-eater : The First Commandment ?? Why it says "Thou Shalt NOT KILL" only !! There's no reference to
animals.. Isn't that supposed to mean not killing a fellow human being ??

God : ....

Meat-eater : Why can't it be put clearer in the Bible ? You should have told us you know ?

God : ....

Meat-eater : I see now...We should not kill animals or humans. Are you laconic, your holiness ?

God : Yup.

Meat-eater : That could cause a lot of misunderstanding you know ? i mean, your holiness... the Bible could be
interpreted any way i want..

God : ....

Meat-eater : OK.. I get it... Raising animals create methane which is responsible for climate change and
eating meat is wrong. I will change.. I promise... I will turn vegan...

God : ....

Meat-eater : When can i start ? When is the ultimatmum ?

God : NOW.

Meat-eater : OKay.. Okay... I promise... But, man, when is it too late to repent ?

God : The time when the arctic ice melts down completely.

Meat-eater : Okay.. that's about 2012 isn't it... I'll do it right NOW, and I promise to tell every one about it..

God : ....

Meat-eater : Yes... I am serious NOW !! Please give me one last chance..

God : Save yourself.

Meat-eater : I'll set my heart to it... I promise, lord.. Bye..

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